W i n t e r . . .

Anything Less Than Mad Love Is A Waste Of Your Time

2005-10-23T02:24:00.000-07:00

"...More than anything else,
you'll know in your heart
when you meet him that he is the one.
He doesn't become the one
the same way that soulmates
do not become soulmates later in life.
With him,
you are damn certain that you are not settling.
With him,
you know that you will be sixty years old and
never wondering about the one that got away
because he never did.
He's right there holding your hand."

{excerpt from
"Anything Less Than Mad Love Is A Waste Of Your Time"
by Leah S. Casta}

Back from the dead....

2005-09-04T01:35:00.000-07:00

Why is that every time I am pissed off, confused, hurt or whatsoever, I want to log in my blog? WTF? Oh well. Sometimes I feel like I am just about to explode. Am I just too much of a "drama queen" or are the feelings/ emotions justified? I am trying my best to be an optimist, but sometimes it's just not working. I have so much to deal with in this life. I have so much mess to fix. I guess, I am just uncertain of my future...

Arrghh....I don't know what I'm saying. I know EVERYTHING will be alright. I just wanted to bring out the pessimistic side of me. Maybe I'm just tired. Exhausted. Impatient. I am just thinking about things in life too much. I will never know what's in it for me in the future...only God knows. And since I know that He loves me, my future will be definitely fine.

Hard-work. Patience. FAITH. These are the keys to my sanity.

Stupid is. Stupid Does.

2005-05-12T00:37:00.000-07:00

"I call you stupid because you never learn..."

nice.
just go to bed.
tuck yourself in.
and
dream away...

Love. Love. Love. Crazy Love.

2005-05-11T23:35:00.000-07:00

I just recently watched stuff about LOVE. This amazing episode of Sex and The City called "An American in Paris" and the movie "Love Actually". All about LOVE: friends. lovers. family. country. neighbors. Simply about the true meaning of LOVE.
It just amazes me how love sometimes is unrealistically portrayed on tv shows and the big screen. The ones mentioned above does not fit this description. Somehow relieving. Both portrays the kind of LOVE that really happens in the real world. We can always hope and pray for a fairytale love. Sometimes people get what they ask for. It may not enitrely be the "perfect" Romeo & Juliet kinda love - but just a little bit of it and some more of the other kind...well, whatever that means.

OOPS I'M RATHER SLEEPY...
WILL CONTINUE THIS ENTRY NEXT TIME...
PROMISE...MERCI!

I'M FALLEN

2005-03-12T23:10:00.000-08:00

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

- FALLEN -
by Sarah McLachlan

I never thought I could ever relate to this song. But I guess now, I do.
I need SarahMcLachlan & Tara Maclean's music. Their sad music somehow heals me. I'll find a way to get back on my feet again...

MEL: You Are MY Beautiful Surprise...

2005-03-05T03:12:00.000-08:00

I believe that we are written in the stars

I'm thankful for the man that you are, you are, you are
You are everything I ask for in my prayers
So I know my angels brought you to my life

Your energy is healing to my soul
You are an inspiration to my life
You are the reason why I smile
You are a beautiful surprise.

You'll always and forever be -
my beautiful surprise, sweetheart...
I LOVE YOU with MY HEART & SOUL.

DORMANT

2005-02-27T02:41:00.000-08:00

I haven't updated my dear blog.
I suck!
Will write write write SOON!
I will find time.
PWOMISE!!!

AT LAST...

2004-11-19T23:58:00.000-08:00

My lonely days are over
And life is like a song...

At last the skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped in clover
The night I looked at you

I found a dream that I could speak to
A dream that I could call my own
I found a thrill to press my cheek to
A thrill that I have never, never known

Oh, you smiled
And then the spell was cast
And here we are in heaven
For you are mine...
At Last...
You are mine...
At Last...
You are mine...
At Last

- Joan Osborne -
The Other Sister OST

Watched this movie again on TNT. And I remembered my dear friend, Leah. It was during our DLSU days when this film was released. We loved this movie to death. Especially the soundtrack. The songs in this movie were phenomenal. So sweet. Awww...I really felt good watching this movie again. Just reminisced the days when I was still searching for "The One". He was nowhere in sight. But I never lost my faith. I know we'll find each other, someday...Surely, we did.
We're off to Lover's Pointe in Monterey Bay, CA to celebrate our Anniversary at The Tinnery. This joint has the BEST Clam Chowder ever! Yummy! I'm just looking forward to the time I'll be spending with Mel. I miss my husband so much. I just can't wait for that "special date day".

shattered

2004-11-18T22:31:00.000-08:00

He who holds the key to my heart
has that power to break it into pieces...

Food Craving = SUSHI

2004-11-07T21:55:00.000-08:00

Yup. It's SUSHI Time. Off we went to our fave sushi place - - - SUSHI LOVERS in Milpitas. The only one Sushi Lovers in the whole Bay Area. They had to close the one off Mercado in Santa Clara. I liked that place better. Bigger. Nicer ambience. Anyways, we always seat at the sushi bar. It's fun waiting for those boats with different kinds of sushi on it. Haha! Mel and I's favowites??? Scallop Supreme with California Roll....ORGASMIC! Haha! Me and my husband get high when we combine these two in one bite! I swear! Haha. We look at each other and just shrug. Can't believe we're eating this out-of-this-world combo. Haha! It was all goooooood. Now that $20 was worth every cent. Yummmmyyyy!!! 'Til NEXT TIME...

FYI
SUSHI: This is the only thing I don't cook/ make at home. Haha. My sis-in-law Maria taught me how and where to get the ingredients for making Sushi. Uh-oh. Winter is gonna make this too...one day. Haha! Now, we won't crave any food anymore since I make everything we love, like and crave for at home. Daym! That's what Mel gets for marrying an aspiring chef. You got that right! CCA (California Culinary Academy)...HERE I COME! *hell yeah*

Food Craving = Fresh Lumpia

2004-11-06T17:30:00.000-08:00

My sweet husband granted my wish and drove off to Goldilocks in Hostetter Road in San Jose. Hmm...My first time in this particular branch. It was packed. Well, it was a Sunday. Filis everywhere, hello? Of course, DUH!?!? The place is totally like the ones in Manila. From the ensaymadas, mamons to the halo-halo. Hihi. I wanted to have a lil' bit of everything BUT nahhh...too rich and kinda pricey too. Like $3.45 for one ulam. And get this, the freakin servings? Are Filipino servings too??? Hella small! WHAT D??? Oh well. I got Paksiw na Lechon and Fresh Lumpia. The lumpia was hella GOOD!!! *yum* but the Paksiw was a bit sour and the 3 small slices of pork? It was freakin' full of FATS!!! No trace of red meat, OH MY GAWD! :( I don't and never eat fats from meat. YUCK! Gross! *ulk* HEART ATTACK right there. Just looking at it makes me feel like it's gonna kill whoever eats it. Anyhoo, got Sago & Gulaman too. And it tasted like freakin medicine. Grrrrr...Was really disappointed. SINUGBA's (another popular Filipino Resto in Daly City) version is the one that's closest to the one back home. Oh well. I sooo love their Chicken BBQ with that special sauce! Damn! *drooling* Will go there SOON! Hihi..All in all, the Goldilocks food experience was okay though it cost us 20 bucks for a lil' amount of food. If not for Fresh Lumpia, I won't go back there. We'd rather have Sushi...

*My mom gave me her recipe for Fresh Lumpia.

I'll make it myself. Haha!*

W E D D I N G

2004-11-05T23:38:00.000-08:00

1) ALWAYS & FOREVER

by Luther Vandross

2)WHEN YOU KNOW

by Shawn Colvin

3) AMAZED

by Lonestar

4) WHEN YOU KISS ME

by Shania Twain

5) FOREVER and FOR ALWAYS

by Shania Twain

6) NOTHING'S GONNA STOP US NOW

by Starship

7) LOVE OF MY LIFE

by Brian McKnight

8) YOU'RE THE INSPIRATION

by Peter Cetera

9) YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

by George Benson & Roberta Flack

10) LOVING YOU IS ALL I KNOW

by The Pretenders

11) I'LL STAND BY YOU

by The Pretenders

12) WONDERFUL TONIGHT

by Eric Clapton

13) MY SPECIAL ANGEL

by Bobby Helms

14) BECAUSE OF YOU

by Martin Keith

15) I WILL BE HERE

by Steven Curtis Chapman

16) WHY DO I BELIEVE

by Pebbles

17) ALL MY LIFE

by Aaron Neville and Linda Ronstadt

18) YOU DECORATED MY LIFE

by Kenny Rogers

I can't wait for that very special day.

The day I get married (in Church) with My Soulmate...MEL.

We have planned almost everything already.

All we need is to wait for our turn to get married.

(Mel's younger brother Don will get married come 2005

to his fiance Lisa.

So we can't do it the same year.)

We are thinking either:

(1)Manila, PHILIPPINES

[Sonya's Garden or Antonio's - Tagaytay]

(2) Monterey, CALIFORNIA

[Lover's Pointe where we got engaged]

(3) Sonoma, CALIFORNIA

[Wine County]

Maybe we can do a small one in Manila and another one here in California. Hmmmm...That would be really nice.Well I guess we can do all that since we were the official $32 million lottery winners last night. Haha! Oh well, no matter where it will be held - it's going to be really special. I'm marrying My "Soulmate", The Love of My Life, My Best Friend...My EVERYTHING. We will be surrounded by our loved ones. And for me, that's the most important. And yeah, my Manolo Blahniks stilettos. Haha!

MY CHRISTMAS WISHLIST...

2004-11-04T01:53:00.000-08:00

FOR OUR CHIC HOME:

ST. TROPEZ BED-IN-A-BAG (QUEEN)
HAMILTON BEACH 12-SPEED BLENDER AND FOOD PROCESSOR (WHITE)
ANTI-SKIP CD PLAYER WITH CAR KIT (BLACK/ SILVER)
EMERSON EXECUTIVE STYLE CD AUDIO SYSTEM (SLIVER/ BLACK)
IKEA STUFF

FOR MYSELF:

CROPPED WOOL PEACOAT [DARK CHARCOAL] Old Navy
QUILTED BOMBER JACKET [KHAKI] Old Navy
ISAAC MIZRAHI ELLA BLACK FABRIC STRETCH BOOTS [BLACK]
CLINIQUE HAPPY HEART OR RALPH BODY SPRITZ
FOREVER 21 STUFF!!!

Peet's Coffee...Simply The Best!

2004-11-03T22:30:00.000-08:00

I've been a coffee fanatic since I was young.
Though my Mom never allowed me to drink it,
Well, I sneak to make my own.

I have been a Starbucks Coffee addict from the first time I tasted it back in 1996 in California. Became a bonafide Starbucks drinker since it opened in the Philippines in 1997...

BUT everything changed
when I tasted PEET'S COFFEE http://www.peets.com/shop/shop.asp
Peet's has always been known for its deeply satisfying roast and the full-bodied flavor that it creates.
We have a term for what one should look for in quality coffee, and that is "cup satisfaction" which sums up the goal of Peet's artisan roasting.

It's cheaper than Starbucks
And yet their coffee tastes richer. fuller. caramelly-ier. clean-er. sweeter.
It's like, drinking melted ice cream- FOR REAL!!!!

My husband Mel and I go all the way to Santana Row or Downtown San Francisco just to get a dose of PEET'S! I just recently learned that Peet's Coffee & Tea will be opening a branch here in Fremont come Winter!!! OH MY GAWD!!!! *me jumps for joy* SPLENDID! I can't wait to kick back and spend time with my husband. Way too cool!

Now, I rarely go to Starbucks
for coffee...
Well, except if I want a dose of a
good ole' LIGHT Caramel or LIGHT Coffee Frappuccino.

If you haven't tasted it, GO OUT & GRAB ONE!

To My Soulsis DULCE...

2004-11-02T01:34:00.000-08:00

You're Just Like a Sister to Me

The best kind of friendships are the
lasting, warm and wonderful kind
that you and I have always shared...

Friendships like ours are the kind
where the caring never goes away,
the understanding is deep and sweet and sincere,
and the two friends are so near in their hearts
that they'll stay close forever.

I really cherish having you for a friend.
You're the very best kind there is, and
it's a privilege to know you as well as I do.

But there's something more I need to tell you:
you and I have a trust, an honesty,
and a history together that makes me think of you
as so much more than a friend.
You're someone who is at the center
of the circle of my life.
Someone essential to me.

And I know you'll always stay that way,
because when a friend is as close as you are,
they're just like family.
I can barely even begin to tell you how much you touch my soul,
raise my hopes, and inspire my smiles.
Maybe the best way to convey it is to lovingly try and say
that you've always been
and you always will be
...just like a sister to me.

I know people find it really weird.

Ultimately bizarre that we are soo close.

You were a big part of my husband's life.

And I'll always be thankful that you came into his life...

And now, mine.

We are blessed to have you in our lives.

You are a wonderful person.

The kindest heart.

Amazing character.

Sweet. Loving. Caring.

Thank you for always being there for me and Mel.

I wuv you so much! *hugs*

"Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love

is a waste of time.

There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with,

and love shouldn't be one of them."

-Dream For An Insomniac

I just wish you all the BEST.

You deserve to be treated like a princess.

You deserve to be the HAPPIEST.

Never settle for anything less than you deserve.

You know how this goes...

And yeah,

The book is in your hand ;)

Santana Row - - - Phenomenal.

2004-10-31T23:46:00.000-08:00

Off we drove to our fave hang-out, SANTANA ROW in San Jose http://www.santanarow.com/ This area is like "Town & Country Villages," sprawling four-level Spanish-style buildings of stores and restaurants. A touch of Spain, France and everything in between. The open-air facilities invited visitors to stroll and relax, and promised a touch of class. Santana Row created an architecturally-stunning new neighborhood combining residential and retail space where people could live, work, shop, dine, and enjoy time together.

This make-believe downtown joint reminds me of Greenbelt3 or Rockwell in Makati. *sigh* miss Manila. I love it because it's like Downtown San Francisco minus the Bums. Hihi. It's all good.

We go there for 3 reasons: Coffee or Tea. Bookstore. Hang-out. That's it. It has been my husband and I's 'tradition' to get our Iced Coffee at Peet's. Kick back at The Santana Row Park. Walk around. Then hang-out at Borders Bookstore until whatever time. Haha.

These are some of the stores, restos and shops we like at Santana Row.

ITALIAN
Maggiano's Little Italy
Pasta Pomodoro
Pizza Antica
CAFES
Fantasia Tea Cafe
Peet's Coffee & Tea
Starbucks
Village Café
Yankee Pier
MEXICAN
Chili's Grill & Bar
Wahoo's Tacos

SWEETS
Ben & Jerry's

Santana Row's mission is: To create urban spaces that are not just shopping centers, but dynamic, people and pedestrian-oriented places that people can look forward to visiting again and again.

They definitely lived up to their mission. People come back again and again. Just never get tired of it. Every visit is a new experience.

SANTANA ROW....Just phenomenal.

BECAUSE OF YOU

2004-10-30T23:35:00.000-07:00

If ever you wondered
If you touched my soul
Yes you do
Since I met you I'm not the same
You bring to everything I do
Just the way you say hello
With one touch I can't let go
Never thought I'd fall in love with you

Sometimes I get lonely
And all I gotta do is think of you
You captured something inside of me
You make all of my dreams come true

It's not enough that you love me for me
You reached inside and touched me internally
I Love You best explains how I feel for you

The magic in your eyes
True love I can't deny
When you hold me
I just lose control
I want you to know
That I'm never letting go

You mean so much to me
I want the world to see
It's because of you

Because of you my life has changed
Thank you for the love and the joy you bring
Because of you I feel no shame
I'll tell the world just because of you
My life has changed

Thank you for the love and the joy you bring
Because of you I feel no shame
I'll tell the world just because of you
Because of YOU.

I love you, Babe...

Because Of You
Martin Keith

SOLEDAD

2004-10-23T23:55:00.000-07:00

Estaré utilizando mi apellido nuevo pronto.
SOLEDAD.
Soledad significa "Solitude".
Qué un apellido maravilloso..

No more dreaming...

2004-10-19T23:59:00.000-07:00

I dream of a love
that even time will lie down
and be still for.

- Practical Magic (1998) -

No more dreaming for winter;
her LOVE is here...

C E L E B R A T E

2004-10-17T23:25:00.000-07:00

celebrated our jobs.
fave sushi place.
Mr. Yamamoto inside.
really nice.
fond of US.
shared a hot sake shot.
hmm, vodka-like but hot.
toast. healthy life.
free booze. that's right.

as celebrants were leaving,
Mr. Yamamoto looked
and said,
"you make a great couple!"
sweet compliment
from him.
old-wise-looking elder.
totally Samurai.

left lovers smiling.

celebrating every blessing - -
that's what we do BEST.

celebrate each other.
marriage.
love.
L I F E.
eternity.

Don't waste that PRETTY

2004-10-15T23:56:00.000-07:00

Today, my husband and I went to Pruneyard Plaza in Campbell. I chilled at Barnes & Noble bookstore while waiting for my husband to finish his job interview. I got some wedding, fashion, home magazines and the book "He's Just NOT That Into You". The one book I've been advertising like hell for my girl friends (especially the confused ones...haha!). I took the time to take down all these so I can share it with all of my girls. So here it goes...
=================================
If a dude isn't calling you when he says he will or making sure you know that he's dating you - then you already have your answer. Stop making excuses for him, his actions are screaming the truth. MOVE ON SIS! Cut your losses and don't waste your time. Why stay in some weird dating limbo when you can move on to what will surely be better territory?

Some advice for you - - -

[FOR THE WOMEN WHO DATED GUYS THAT NEVER CALLED]

don't be with someone who doesn't do what they say they're going to do.
"busy" is another word for "asshole". "asshole" is another word for the guy you're dating.
you deserve a fuckin text message, instant message, e-mail or phone call.
if you don't know where the relationship is going, its okay to pull over and ask.
there is a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that's he's your boyfriend. quit goofing and go find him!

[FOR THE WOMEN WHO CAME FROM A BREAK UP]

your lost your self-esteem may take longer to find than a new bf, so prioritize accordingly.
if you're tempted to spend countless nights just cuddling with someone, just buy a puppy.

[FOR THE WOMEN WHO CHOSE
MR. SHITTY WHAT'S HIS NAME FOR A PARTNER]

life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
you deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time (you should be nice to them too).
you already have one asshole. you don't need another one.
MAKE A SPACE IN YOUR LIFE FOR THE GLORIOUS THINGS YOU DESERVE.
HAVE FAITH.

YOU KNOW YOU DESERVE TO HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP.
Don't waste that pretty...

---from the book---
"He's Just NOT That Into You"
by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo
writer & consultant of
SEX and THE CITY

==========================

I hope this helps a bit. As I have said before, we can only give advices. Some guidance. In the end, it's still up to you. It's your decision. Your choice. Your life. A sincere friendly reminder wouldn't hurt, right?

From my husband, MEL:
"I THINK WE'VE BEEN REALLY GOOD IN THE EYES OF GOD SO THAT'S WHY WE MET. NOT EVERYONE FINDS A SOUL MATE YAH KNOW? I THINK IT'S A MATTER OF DESERVING. SOMETIMES IN LIFE, WE GET WHAT WE DESERVE. AND IF YOU'RE MEANT TO BE TRULY HAPPY, YOU WILL BE. I KNOW DEEP IN MY HEART AND SOUL THAT WE MET FOR A REASON AND THAT REASON IS TO BE TRULY HAPPY IN THIS LIFETIME..."

After all the heartbreaks, I finally found the ONE -
whom I will love & who will love me
ALL MY LIFE.
I am lucky to have found my "soulmate".
An amazing friend, brother, son and husband.
I am truly blessed.

I have always believed that there's a 'somebody' for everyone. They'll find each other...someday.It's all a matter of timing. And of course, deserving. Please don't ever lose hope. Hope is the only thing that guides us.
Keep the FAITH!

Never settle for anything less than you DESERVE

2004-10-14T01:48:00.000-07:00

Exactly. That's what I said to my girlfriend back home. Let's call her, uhm, ms. settling.
She came from a 4-5 year relationship when suddenly the guy dumped her. That was last December. Now, after 9 months, she found this guy. jiggy. Who made her feel marketable. HOT. Who boosted her ego, self-esteem. Who made her feel WANTED.

She was drawn to this guy, let's call him jiggy. He came from a fresh break up with a girl who's in the US. The long-distance thing made it so difficult. He said "she's the ONE" but he just didnt want her to leave her everything for him.

Anyways, jiggy was really into ms. settling (according to ms. settling). He was so into her that he fails to meet her up for dates. He was so into her that he was always "busy". He was soo into her that he only had time for her when he knew he was gonna get something out of her in the bedroom. I was sooo convinced that jiggy was so into her. I mean, after all the time he sacrificed and effort he has shown? Such a winner! *rolleyes*

As I was questioning as to why jiggy couldn't make it to dates and all, she replied "kasi busy eh". As soon as she heard me say "ahhh" in a sarcastic way, she immediately defended the guy. Or shall I say, immediately made excuses for jiggy. I told ms. settling that if you start making excuses for the guy...well, there's something wrong going on. jiggy makes up for his mistakes by "sweet talking" her. hmmm...

You know, ALL guys can do "sweet talks". You hear me? ALL MEN. ALL GUYS. You'll only know that he's really into you based on his EFFORT and the TIME he shared with you. ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS. You have always known this since 1st grade, I just wanted to remind you.

I told her that I don't think she deserves that kind of treatment. To think, the guy is still in the courting stage. Hello? Courting is when a guy puts his BEST foot forward. Is that his BEST? I wonder.
I feel like ms. settling is really important in his life. Top Priority. Cool. *rolleyes* I can't wait to see what's instored for you in the future with this guy. Don't think he'll suddenly be "unbuzy" when you get together in the long run. He won't change. Don't think that he'll change just because you are now "a couple". That never happens. What you see is what you get during the dating stage. And what you see could be worse after you get together. So enough of your optimism, alright? Let's stick to REALITY.

PLUS consider the fact that he's always THERE when it's naughty-naughty time. ms. settling herself felt like she was just for "bootycall"...well, i guess she's 100% right. Ano pa nga ba? Busy for normal dates but got hella time for bedroom intimacy? What the hell is that? *grrr*

I just shared with her what I thought of her situation. I didn't impose anything. I just wanted to share with her my experiences and what I learned from them. I know she's NOT me, but I know she'll somehow have a hint of what will happen or what is happening thru my sharing. I am just here to guide her.

PLUS I wanted her to realize how her EX courted her back then. ms. settling's ex was NOT rich. they met in college. and he wooed her by bringing her home whenever he can by commuting. bus, jeepney, colorum, tricycle, walking...NAME IT. He may be poor, he still finds a way to buy her special gifts. He calls her whenever he can though it was long-distance (las piñas to cavite is long distance). Now, here comes a rich guy, jiggy. With his own car. Own condo. Own business. Who can't text her on breaks to tell her he misses her. Who can't meet her up because he's always and forever busy. Who can't meet her in Glorietta or Greenbelt because his condo is hella far --- Makati Cinema Square area.

I just let her realize that she didnt' deserve that kind of "courting", or treatment. She deserved more than that. The only way she'll accept this treatment is if she thinks, SHE DESERVES IT. Based on our last conversation, I felt like she realized she didn't deserve this. I think so too.

I just didn't want her to settle. Settling will make your life miserable. Your Mr. Right could have missed you coz you were with the not-so-deserving jiggy. Please do not force anything when it comes to "relationships", "love". Never lower your standards. In this age, you should've known what you want in a guy. in a partner. a lifetime partner. It's NOT based on his material possesions. job title. degree.

I know that you weren't given enough material blessings when you were growing up. No one spoiled you and gave you whatever you wanted at that moment. BUT PLEASE, never ever choose a man JUST because he can give you all these. All the material things you've missed when you were growing up. You will never be happy if you will only base that in choosing your lifetime partner. It won't make you happy. Won't make you feel fulfilled. YOU WILL END UP IN MISERY.

Choosing your partner should be based on his 'solid character', great personality, family values, good etiquette and most of all, kind & loving heart.

ms. settling promised me she'll think about everything. I hope she realizes HER WORTH. And hopefully, makes the right decision. She knows what's BEST for her.

ms. settling,
never lose hope.
you know what i've been thru.
and yet,
in the end,
i was able to find my soulmate.
we finally found each other.
we almost didn't
because at that time
i was with guy-not-for-me.
but here we are
finally together.
happily married.
it's all a matter of deserving,
a matter of timing.
he'll come in God's time.
just be patient.
be strong.
have FAITH.
love yah!

You Decorated My Life...

2004-10-13T19:09:00.000-07:00

For My Husband, Mel...

All my life was a paper once plain, pure and white
Till you moved with your pen changin' moods now and then
Till the balance was right
Then you added some music, ev'ry note was in place
And anybody could see all the changes in me by the look on my face

And you decorated my life, created a world where dreams area apart
And you decorated my life by paintin' your love all over my heart
You decorated my life

Like a rhyme with no reason in an unfinished song
There was no harmony life meant nothin' to me, until you came along
And you brought out the colors, what a gentle surprise
Now i'm able to see all the things life can be shinin' soft in your eyes

And you decorated my life, created a world where dreams are a part
And you decorated my life by paintin' your love all over my heart
You decorated my life

---Kenny Rogers---

My Columbus Day Long-Weekend

2004-10-11T02:30:00.000-07:00

Saturday. 10.09.2004
Brentwood, California. 630PM.
Surprise Birthday Party for MICHELLE.

Baked a special cake for the Birthday Girl. Milk Chocolate Cake dipped in Coffee Syrup covered with Mocha Fudge Icing topped with crushed Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels. All from scratch. I didn't go cheap on the ingredients, that's for sure. Will, a very nice guy, picked me and my husband Mel up from Automall. We drove for almost an hour going to Brentwood. It was hella far, I tell yah. There were several people in Michelle's place when we arrived. Mostly Michelle and I's friends from La Salle and the rest are friends of hers from Cali. The place was all fixed up: food were ready, banners, drinks, flowers...wonderful! I was so excited to suprise Michelle. Coz I know she has NOOOO freakin' idea she'll be surprised since her birthday was way back on the 6th. We had the best staller, Kathy, she's amazing! And also fuckin hilarious! I so love her! Haha! Our goal was achieved, Michelle had the surprise of her LIFE! She was soo speechless and shocked. The food was perfect. The people were cool (mostly Fil-Ams). The music was great. We had loads of fun. Singing in the videoke, dancing from slow ballads to techno music, simply drinking the night away. I loved dancing with my husband, he's the best dancing partner - ever! I'm so proud of him coz he aint' shy at all. Haha! He's such a sweetie. Oh and yeah, Michelle ended up really drunk on her 26th Birthday. That was her wish anyways. Haha, silly girl. Wish granted. I really am very thankful for Joyce & Wil for finding a way to get our fine a$$es at Brentwood *hugs to yah both*. Mel and I had a freakin' blast!!! Here's to more parties *cheers*

Sunday. 10.10.2004
Stockton, California. 530pm.
Birthday Party for Uncle Danny.

And yes, another party. Another full tummy to fill. Haha! My in-laws picked us up and drove up to Stockton. Another hella far place, I swear. But as soon as we got there, we got to eat scrumptuous Filipino food! Though I wasnt able to eat any lechon (which I was expecting & craving a while ago*sniff* ), it was still all good - haha!) Kaldereta. Menudo. Pancit. Dinuguan & Puto. Cassava Cake. Lasagna. Grilled Oysters. BBQed Pork & Steak. Yummy! But I swear, I'd be slaving myself to burn all those calories. Dammet! Oh well. Gotta stick to my goal. My dream body come my 27th Birthday! Wuhooo!!! Anyways, my husband and I strolled around that developing area with Adonis "the dog". We checked the new houses in that area. It was so exciting planning for our "own" future home. "Someday", as we always say to each other. I know we will get there...

The Ultimate "MISERY" Chick

2004-10-08T23:55:00.000-07:00

hey you!
yah you.
don't look elsewhere.
it's YOU i'm talking to.

you are such a misery.
you are so looking forward
to watch me fall apart.
become insanely sad.
and end up alone.
i know you want me
to shatter into pieces.

well it won't happen, b|atch.
not now.
not later.
never in any lifetime.

i'm sorry but
all your 'bad' hopes
wishes,
curses for me?
will actually happen to you.

oh, and now?
it's happening to you
instead of me.
a dose of your own medicine.
KARMA. your "own" bad karma.
hope you now believe in it.
you're a 'living' example.

you'll never win over me.
i'm waaaaaaaaaay above you.

my gawd.
please try harder.
you're just the ultimate
"misery chick".

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU - - - ACCEPT IT. YOU GOT NO CHOICE, HONEY!

2004-10-07T22:24:00.000-07:00

i just want to recommend this book
to all my girlfriends...
especially the ones who are "single" and
are still in the 'dating' scene.
it's NOT just for 'singles'
{searching & dating}
but also for the 'engaged'
and 'married' ones.

all your questions about guys?
all WILL be answered. i swear!
it's 'brutally frank' but daym,
IT'S THE TRUTH.
REALITY, My Dear.

He's Just Not That Into You - The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
BY: Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

CLICK IT. GET IT.
It is LIFE CHANGING.

{A NOTE: This was recommended by winterswirl solely for her girlfriends who need help in the "LOVE" department.}

My Angel...

2004-10-04T23:31:00.000-07:00

my angel,
the first time i saw you
my heart was filled with joy.

tiny head.
tiny hands.
tiny feet.

i love holding you in my arms.
feeling each heart beat.

i love rocking you
'til you fall asleep.
hearing your deep breaths.

i love playing with you.
you never failed to give me
a smile or two.
each giggle,
each smile,
each laugh,
makes me oh so happy.

when i look at my angel,
i see hope.
i feel love.
i feel God.
how could a tiny creature
make one's heart melt?
that's the power of an angel,
the power of God.

my angel is God's lil gift to me.
to us.
my angel is a gift from up above.

i thank God for giving me an angel.
for whenever i see him,
my heart lights up.

my angel is such a joy.
he makes me look forward
to a better,
brighter tomorrow.

my life now has changed,
for a wonderful angel
came into my life.

i shall never be the same.

T.G.I.S.

2004-10-02T23:35:00.000-07:00

Thank God It's Saturday.
Slept at 430. Woke up at 7. We better get our a$$es moving...It's LADDER49 time! Whoapee! Met up with Don (Mel's younger bro) and his fiance' Lisa. Got free popcorn and soda...what a deal! Haha! A few hours later, I ended up...I can't tell yah guys. I'd spoil the movie's ending. WATCH IT so you'll know!
This movie is GREAT! Phenomenal. A movie that has a heart. I didn't expect this movie to be more on "drama". I thought it was all the way ACTION. A movie which best portrays the life of a fire fighter. It will surely melt your heart.

After watching this amazing movie, we ate at our fave sushi place SUSHI LOVERS. Scallop Supreme with California Rolls? HEAVEN ON EARTH! *yummmmy* Sooooo good! Every bite was worth it! It's pretty cheap too.Got hella sleepy after. Still got an interview to do. Oh well. I did great on the interview. I hope I'll get it.

After resting, got up and headed for Santana Row (again! duh! haha!) to meet Don, Lisa and Maria. Peet's was closed already...waaahhh! But Starbucks will do. Got some Maple Nut Wheat Scones to go with my Drip coffee. It was good.... Just bonded with 'em. It was chilly that night. Finished the night with a cup of HOT Drip coffee - It was just perfect!!!

Gotta sleep right away coz we're off to Downtown San Francisco early morning the next day...ZZZzzzzzz.....

T.G.I.F.

2004-10-02T01:30:00.000-07:00

Thank God It's Friday. I can't wait for the weekend to start. So many things to do, so little time *whew*. First up, called my family in Manila. Everything's all good back there. It's always FUN talking to my family. I miss 'em all so much including my Yaya Paz. Hihi.
Went to Santana Row to meet up our dear friend, Dulce and my sister-in-law Maria (who drove all the way from San Diego). Sipped our coffees and teas. What is Santana Row without our fave Peet's Coffee? *Yummy* I so looove this coffee!!! Kicked back at Santana, hung-out at Borders Bookstore then ate late dinner at Carrows in Campbell. It was all good! Got back home hella late, but we had a good time. Still have to wake up early for the Special Screening of LADDER49 in Santa Clara. Wuhoooo! I can't wait!!! I heard that movie was "phenomenal". Gotta sleep now....Zzzzzz....

Tools for Personal Growth

2004-10-01T13:50:00.000-07:00

Accepting Personal Responsibility

Content:

* What is accepting personal responsibility?
* How can failing to accept personal responsibility result in negative consequences?
* What do people believe who have not accepted personal responsibility?
* What terms are used to describe those who have not accepted personal responsibility?
* What behavior traits need to be developed in order to accept personal responsibility?
* What are the steps in accepting personal responsibility?

What is accepting personal responsibility?

Accepting personal responsibility includes:

*Acknowledging that you are solely responsible for the choices in your life.
*Accepting that you are responsible for what you choose to feel or think.
*Accepting that you choose the direction for your life.
*Accepting that you cannot blame others for the choices you have made.
*Tearing down the mask of defense or rationale for why others are responsible for who you are, what has happened to you, and what you are bound to become.
*The rational belief that you are responsible for determining who your are, and how your choices affect your life.
*Pointing the finger of responsibility back to yourself and away from others when you are discussing the consequences of your actions.
*Realizing that you determine your feelings about any events or actions addressed to you, no matter how negative they seem.
*Recognizing that you are your best cheerleader; it is not reasonable or healthy for you to depend on others to make you feel good about yourself.
*Recognizing that as you enter adulthood and maturity, you determine how your self-esteem will develop.
*Not feeling sorry for the ``bum deal'' you have been handed but taking hold of your life and giving it direction and reason.
*Letting go of your sense of over responsibility for others.
*Protecting and nurturing your health and emotional well being.
*Taking preventive health oriented steps of structuring your life with time management, stress management, confronting fears, and burnout prevention.
*Taking an honest inventory of your strengths, abilities, talents, virtues, and positive points.
*Developing positive, self-affirming, self-talk scripts to enhance your personal development and growth.
*Letting go of blame and anger toward those in your past who did the best they could, given the limitations of their knowledge, background, and awareness.
*Working out anger, hostility, pessimism, and depression over past hurts, pains, abuse, mistreatment, and misdirection.

How can failing to accept personal responsibility result in negative consequences?

When you have not accepted personal responsibility, you can run the risk of becoming:

*Overly dependent on others for recognition, approval, affirmation, and acceptance.
*Chronically hostile, angry, or depressed over how unfairly you have been or are being treated.
*Fearful about ever taking a risk or making a decision.
*Overwhelmed by disabling fears.
*Unsuccessful at the enterprises you take on in life.
*Unsuccessful in personal relationships.
*Emotionally or physically unhealthy.
*Addicted to unhealthy substances, such as the abuse of alcohol, drugs, food, or unhealthy behavior such as excessive gambling, shopping, sex, smoking, work, etc.
*Over responsible and guilt ridden in your need to rescue and enable others in your life.
*Unable to develop trust or to feel secure with others.
*Resistant to vulnerability.

What do people believe who have not accepted personal responsibility?

*It's not my fault I am the way I am.
*I never asked to be born.
*Now that you have me, what are you going to do with me?
*I want you to fix me.
*Life is unfair! There is no sense in trying to take control of my life.
*Why go on; I see no use in it.
*You can't help me, nobody can help me. I'm useless and a failure.
*God has asked too much of me this time. There is no way I'll ever be able to handle this.
*When do the troubles and problems cease? I'm tired of all this.
*Stop the world; I want to get off.
*Life is so depressing. If only I had better luck and had been born to a healthier family, or attended a better school, or gotten a better job, etc.
*How can you say I am responsible for what happens to me in the future? There is fate, luck, politics, greed, envy, wicked and jealous people, and other negative influences that have a greater bearing on my future than I have.
*How can I ever be happy, seeing how bad my life has been?
*My parents made me what I am today!
*The problems in my family have influenced who I am and what I will be; there is nothing I can do to change that.
*Racism, bigotry, prejudice, sexism, ageism, and closed mindedness all stand in the way of my becoming what I really want to be.
*No matter how hard I work, I will never get ahead.
*You have to accept the luck of the draw.
*I am who I am; there is no changing me.
*No one is going to call me crazy, depressed, or troubled and then try to change me.

What terms are used to describe those who have not accepted personal responsibility?

martyrs. self-pitying, depressed, losers, quitters, chronically angry, dependent personalities, complainers, addictive personalities, blamers, stubborn, persons in denial, troubled people, stuck, fearful, pessimists, despondent, mentally unstable, obstinate, hostile, aggressive, irresponsible, weak, guilt ridden, resistant to help, passive, irrational, insecure, neurotic, obsessed, lost

What behavior traits need to be developed in order to accept personal responsibility?

In order to accept personal responsibility you need to develop the ability to:

*Seek out and to accept help for yourself.
*Be open to new ideas or concepts about life and the human condition.
*Refute irrational beliefs and overcome fears.
*Affirm yourself positively.
*Recognize that you are the sole determinant of the choices you make.
*Recognize that you choose your responses to the people, actions, and events in your life.
*Let go of anger, fear, blame, mistrust, and insecurity.
*Take risks and to become vulnerable to change and growth in your life.
*Take off the masks of behavior characteristics behind which you hide low self-esteem.
*Reorganize your priorities and goals.
*Realize that you are the party in charge of the direction your life takes.

"Romeo, my tear is in your hand..." - Juliet

2004-09-30T20:00:00.000-07:00

romeo got her from virgin land
promised juliet great care
he is responsible for this princess

what is happening?
what is he doing?
he's the only jack
who can bring juliet to lala land.

blame yourself for assuming, romeo
you're still not at one
with the mighty eigch pi.
presumed. assumed.
now, you and juliet are doomed.
you'll sulk with her in bed.
ask this lad to eat your head
twenty-four by seven dead.
yeah.
surely.
it will take you both
to ideal nowhere land.

romeo, y'got no excuse
to bring her hell.
rather be stabbed a dozen,
than go back to hell.
what did juliet do
to deserve this?
wanted to be with you.
but never asked her fairy
to bring juliet to hell
and back.

can't believe you, romeo.
help juliet understand.
her pretty eyes are drenched in tears.
there's a thorn in her gentle heart.
she is bleeding slowly.

you don't know
the power that you have
with that tear in your hand.

change. you have to.

How much of a DRAMA Queen are you???

2004-09-29T21:50:00.000-07:00

This is a fun way to test the "DRAMA Queen" in you...
My score? 45.
According to your answers on the test, you are given to the occasional dramatic outburst. You seem to have days when you are calm and rational, yet others when you ride a temporary roller coaster of emotion. Yes, sometimes you overreact. Perhaps you are more sensitive in certain areas, like your love life or health. Or maybe you go a tad over-the-top during certain times of high stress (or fluctuating hormones... and this happens to both men and women!). Whatever the case, it would certainly be beneficial to keep the theatrics to a minimum. Going over-the-top can spice up your life but it also can cause unnecessary stress. When you're on the verge of freaking out, take a deep breath and consider how things fit into the big picture. Is it really worth it?

Now, it's your turn. Take your test...Drama Queen TEST

El Flamenco, Mi Hermano...

2004-09-28T23:55:00.002-07:00

Don is one of my husband's younger siblings. His only brother. His BEST FRIEND. He is taller & bigger than Mel but he's younger. Haha! They are the closest brothers I've ever known. I love seeing 'em enjoy their time together as brothers...I really do. They think the same, have the same values and they share the same interest in FLAMENCO Music.

My husband plays Flamenco guitar, just as a hobby. Don plays professionally. He plays really well. He and my husband always play their guitars whenever they're together. An amazing fusion of talent. But, what is Flamenco anyways?

Flamenco is a genuine Spanish art, and to be more exact an genuine Southern Spanish art. It exists in three forms: Cante, the song, Baile, the dance, and Guitarra, guitar playing.
Gypsies are very often named as its fathers, and at least it can be taken for certain that they played an important part in its creation. But also the popular songs and dances of Andalusia have influenced early Flamenco considerably.
Certainly there were other influences, too, as it will not surprise in a country that has been dominated by most diverse cultures and civilizations during its different historical epochs. There were the legendary Tartessos, and seven centuries of Muslim occupation hardly could have passed without leaving traces. All that, directly or indirectly, influenced Flamenco.

Flamenco guitars are NOT cheap. It ranges from $1200-5000. They are hand-crafted to perfection. The sound of a regular string guitar is no where near the pure & magical sound the Flamenco Guitar makes. The best ones come from Spain, of course, where Flamenco Music started.

Don is an amazing artist. He is one of two Filipinos in the whole United States who is known to play such a hard, complicated guitar-playing style. We're lucky enough to see him play amazing Flamenco music for FREE. Everytime he plays, Mel & I are just in awe. WOW! He's such a talented artist. Mel can go on for hours telling me how great is brother is. His creativity is 'el natural'. His passion for his music is unmatched. His crafts are mastered. I am more than excited for the release of his solo album, hopefully by next year. We couldn't be prouder.

Don will be moving to Florida next week. I know my husband is sad thinking his brother will be so far away. I will miss them too. Happens when people get older. Making changes to make their lives easier, better. And in their case, they need to move to the East to make that happen. I hope everything works out. Don & Mel are really close. They shared everything together since they we're young. Mel is proud to be Don's brother. All they can do now is cherish their moments together as "brothers". Everybody will move on. We will just make "new" memories with them when the time comes. We'll always be here for them. That's what family is for.

DON & MEL. These two brothers may have their own lives now, future families to think of. CHANGE is simply inevitable. But no matter what happens, the music of Flamenco will always burn in their hearts & they will forever remain BROTHERS. And that's what matters most.

sowee, just too buzy...

2004-09-28T21:44:00.000-07:00

so much going on
so lil' time to write
pwomise
will update this site
S O O N . . .

Gordon Biersch. Friends. Lifetime Friendship...SALUDOS!

2004-09-26T02:30:00.000-07:00

Saturday. Hmmm..Well, started off the day by waking up late. As usual. Every Friday & Saturday evening, me & my husband sleep hella late. Therefore, waking up late the next day. Made some pancakes & home-made hash browns for late breakfast. Went back to bed to cuddle, "lambing" its odew. {It's NOT a typo-error. We really say "lambing its odew" when it's cuddle time!} Hihi *blush*.

That night was special. We have a re-union dinner with my husband's buddies from way back. They practically grew up together. So much memories. I was excited, yet nervous. Because I wanted them to like me for Mel (my husband), haha! It was also a get away thing for Mel's younger brother Don. Don & his fiance' Lisa will be moving to Florida soon.

Before heading out for the meeting place, we dropped by Don's place. Don is a professional Flamenco guitar player. We're lucky enough to see him play amazing Flamenco music for FREE. He's such a talented artist. I am more than excited for the release of his solo album, hopefully by next year. Mel couldn't be prouder of his brother. Aww....

So, we went to this cool resto in downtown San Francisco. Located on the bustling Embarcadero along San Francisco's historic waterfront. Gordon Biersch offers one of the most dramatic views of the San Francisco Bay Bridge. The view was amazing. It was kinda breezy, but I brought my thick peacoat & Burberry scarf to warm me up. I so love this Burberry Scarf...A Fashionista MUST HAVE for Winter. Hell yeah!

One by one, their friends came in. Tony, Joe & Glenn arrived first. Then Dao came in with his Japanese girlfriend, Asami. These group is a mix of all the races, I tell yah. Lemme describe these dudes for y'all.
TONY - Vietnamese/American. Successful career. Still looking for Ms. RIGHT.
JOE - Filipino/American. Nicest guy ever. Hilarious. Searched for the Love of his Life since he was born. Still searching for the deserving one.
GLENN - Japanese/ American. Cool Guy. Definitely. METROSEXUAL. Aims at HOT Girls. Is very active in the "dating" arena.
DAO - Chinese/ American. Confident. Poised. Funny too. Carries himself well. Is smitten by his Japanese-Doll GF Asami.

I like their group. Full of laughter. No holding-back. All of 'em are goofy. Just real MEN. Fun to be with. They all look young for their age. Late 20's to early 30's. But they all look young.

Anyways, it was chow time. My husband and I shared a GORDON BIERSCH Marzen Barbecue Burger with Bacon and Cheddar Cheese + their signature Garlic Fries on the side. And daym...it was the BEST Burger I've ever tasted. Soo rich. Good thing Mel and I always share meals when we dine out. To lessen the calories. What a team effort ey? Hihi.

We headed out to the bar. Glenn got me some drink. First time I drank liquor in months. It was a shot of some tequila. It was alright. NO EFFECT. I'm a hard-core drinker. I love Sex on the Beach, Blow Job, Screaming Orgasm & Slammer. I can drink 2 of 'em each, and still be sober. Toughie ey? Haha! I wouldn't do my hard-core drinking here coz daym, each shot is worth $4-7. Hella expensive. So forget it! I'd rather go shopping...

Stayed 'til the wee hours at the streets of Embarcadero.Enjoyed seeing these ole' friends reminisce, catch up. Savored the breath-taking view of The Bay Bridge and The Bay. It was a good night. I really enjoyed at Gordon Biersch.
Here's to "Real" Friends and Lifetime Friendships..."SALUDOS"!

winterswirl...say what???

2004-09-24T15:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay. I guess you might be wondering where I got this name from. It's not as weird as you think especially if you know TORI AMOS. One of my adored female artists.

I loved her song entitled WINTER from her Little Earthquakes Album. And was deliriously fond of her music video of RASPBERRY SWIRL from her The Choirgirl Hotel Album. WINTER + SWIRL = WINTERSWIRL. Get it? Hahaha!

First introduced to me by my guy best friend Duane. He and I share the same passion for music. From Paula Cole to Dido to Jars of Clay to Incubus. Both have high regards to those artists who write their own music. But we also appreciate an artist who has a nice image and who can sing good at the same time. Haha! We analyze everything about a song or album. The lyrics, inspirations, CD covers & videos. Every angle. Every lay out. Each tidbit news about 'em. We're just fanatics! Music Aficionados.

At first, I despised this artist. For using Jesus' name in vain, in her song "Father Lucifer" under the Boys For Pele album.

Father Lucifer
You never looked so sane
You always did prefer the drizzle to the rain
Tell me that you're still in love with that Milkmaid
How's the Lizzies
How's your Jesus christ been hanging

Nothings gonna stop me from floating
Nothings gonna stop me from floating

He says he reckons I'm a watercolour stain
He says I run and then I run from him
And then I run
He didn't see me watching
From the aeroplane
He wiped a tear
And then he threw away our appleseed.

Oh so I thought. I just heard the word "Lucifer", I freaked out & accused this artist to be 'satanist'. But this song is not literally about that. It's beyond that. Father Lucifer EXPLAINED.

Tori's songs require work, repeat listens, complete attention, and an open mind and HEART willing to jump off a cliff into a pool of metaphor. If your intellect bullies you around, you may miss out. The very nature of her lyrics lead to a multitude of interpretations. Tori allows us to get what we want or need from her art. This allows her music to be very personal and inspirational to a diverse and large number of people in a surprisingly large number of situations. Even the same listener can, on repeat listening, travel down a different path every time. This is one of the true strengths of her work.
MIKEWHY 02.13.1998

Her lyrics are phenomenal. It's complicated. Most have underlying messages, some are just plain ole' literal. As is. Her lyrics are out of the ordinary. Frank. Painful. Brutally honest. Well, you have to know her persona, character to understand her music better. With that, you'll be able to ultimately appreciate this genius chick's creative mind. And her sound? It's simply indescribable. No category for it. That's why I bought almost all of her albums. (Thanks to AMOEBA Music!)

"It is about the heart. So to analyze it, you have to let yourself go. I still recommend a really good bottle of red. Get something good. It is a journey, this record, and when you can dull your brain a bit, you know...If you are detaching yourself from it and reading the lyrics, you will never arrive at what she is really saying. She's crawling on the floor to a phone that isn't ringing. So to understand her you have to remember when you did that. You have to let yourself go there."
TORI AMOS {May/June 96 Issue of B-Side Magazine}

At one point, I DID LET GO... And surely at that point, I was able to understand her, her work. I was lucky enough to have watched her concert here in San Francisco back in December 2002. My adorable husband brought me there. Watching her "live" was surreal. Her performance was unmatched. Her talent? Unparalleled. No wonder she has maintained a legion of 'loyal' fans. Toriphiles. Capable to grasp her insane sanity. Never gets tired of her. Continually grows with her & her music. Simply adores her. I am proud to be one of them.

To inspire. To be healed. That's what her music is all about. I have an ultimate respect for TORI as an artist & as a woman. Her music talks about stripping away self-deception and getting to the truth, where one will find freedom. A woman without pretentions nor hypocrisy. 100% REAL.

We all need a TORI AMOS in our lives.
We surely do.

C R U C I F Y

2004-09-24T02:40:00.000-07:00

Every finger in the room
is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces
Then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach
I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell our now
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Just what God needs
One more victim

Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day
And my heart is sick of being in chains

Got a kick for a dog
Beggin' for Love
I gotta have my suffering
So that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter
He says will you ever learn
You're just an empty cage girl
If you kill the bird
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start
my own religion
Please be
Save me
I cry

TORI AMOS

Yesterday, I Cried...

2004-09-24T02:18:00.000-07:00

I cried for LOVE.
Actions. Words.
Why not both?
I cried for 'i love you (s)'.

I cried for a lying daughter.
A deceiving sister.
A pretentious friend.
An insufficient wife.
I cried for forgiveness.

I cried for an ambitious career.
Lavish gifts.
Luxurious lifestyle.
I cried for hope.

I cried for a fat woman.
Scarred faced.
Bruised arm.
I cried for self-love.

I cried for a jaded mind.
Aching heart.
Lost soul.

I cried for myself.

What is a S O U L M A T E ?

2004-09-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

A SOULMATE is someone who is on the
same Mental and Spiritual level as one's self.
The karma between them is balanced.

Somebody you simply cannot help but love,
no matter how deeply you may wish to bury the love.
It simply will rise to your attention
until you can ignore it no longer.

Someone whom you can share your thoughts,
feelings and fears with.

Someone who shares your dreams and
makes you feel its within reach.
Anything is just 'possible'.

Someone who knows what you are thinking
before you even say it.

The one you sit with in silence.
And yet you seem to feel like
you are having the time of your life...
knowing HE is there...
in silence with YOU.

Someone who you want to be with
than any one else in the world.

Someone who will listen to
not only the words coming out of your mouth,
but the emotions from your heart that have no words.

A SOULMATE sees the best in you and
the worst and accepts you and loves you both ways.

A SOULMATE laughs and dances with you.
And when you're hurt, sad or worried...
he will wrap his arms around you
to make you feel the warmth of his LOVE.

A SOULMATE is not afraid to share
their inner selves with their LOVE.
To love with the soul is to recognise
a resonant vibration which encourages
each soul to be more of who they already are.

I do believe in "true love", in "fate",
in "destiny" because i found mine,
My SOULMATE - M*E*L ...
He is the 'ONE' person that
holds the key to my heart;
my better half that completes ME...MY LIFE.

"BE JOYOUS IN LOVE!"

Mi pasión para la ARTES

2004-09-23T14:47:00.000-07:00

[My passion for the ARTS]
As far as I can remember, I have been ecstatic about movie-watching since I was a kid. Of course, any Disney Film will do back then. I always knew that when I grow up, I'll surely be in the world of Broadcasting, Film Making or Fashion Design.

Back in 1995, I was able to get in one of the BEST Universities in the Philippines - De La Salle University. The Communication Arts Major in DLSU was so diverse, exciting, and yes, one of the most expensive programs in the university. Add to that, the most difficult major to get in. You had to maintain an above-average grade, excel in their so-called 'entrance exams' & pass the Communication Arts Professors' deadly interview. {You see, COMARTS Professors are the toughest, meanest, pain-in-the-a$$ professionals known to mankind. My fellow COMARTS classmates would attest to that - haha!} Luckily, I passed. I guess all the Angels up in heaven heard me.

I learned so much in that program: TV & Radio Broadcasting. Journalism. Web Design. Photography {Colored/ Black & White}. Film Making. Name-It. It was a lil' bit of e v e r y t h i n g ! My greatest achievement in all those years was our thesis entitled "Painting With Wings". A Documentary Video on Cebu's Monarch of Butterflies: Professor Julian N. Jumalon. Sleepless nights. Shedding off pounds. Becoming a candidate for PAL's Frequent Flyer {going back n forth CEBU-hahaha!}. Putting a big hole on our parents pockets {50K wasnt a joke!}. Getting an award for Drama Queens {our ex-thesis adviser just made our lives hell!} . In short, it was indeed a painstaking work. Took us awhile but eventually finished this masterpiece after 7-8 months. Besides receiving high marks in the Thesis Defense & graduating with a hard-earned Bachelor of Arts degree , this Documentary Video was nominated in the 1999 CCP International Film & Video Festival {Cultural Center of the Philippines}. I stand proud up until this day.

I enjoy watching films from the First-Ever Documentary made in the 1920's {Nanook of the North} to the New Millenium {Spider Man 2}. Honestly, I appreciate Alternative, Documentary and Independent films more than Mainstream. I am drawn into films that make you think.

Finally! My Own Blog!

2004-09-22T22:31:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my gorgeous friend war_movie_junkie for encouraging me to create my own online personal journal :)
I will work on this throughout the week.